Compulsive Gambling and How Social Workers Helped

By Ms. Sandy Yakim of Morgantown, West Virginia

People begin gambling for different reasons. Perhaps the most common reason is for the entertainment aspect. Many of us who have developed an addiction started just that way. But then for different reasons the entertainment value goes astray, and in my case gambling became a distraction and a way to hide, relax and numb myself to the challenges of everyday life.

I had a great childhood. I grew up here in Morgantown, West Virginia, and after my family moved on, I stayed here to teach school and raise my daughter Erin. Being a West Virginia teacher (where the salaries are low) , I have always had to watch my finances and work extra jobs to get my daughter through college and have a little extra money.

First Experience Gambling

I had never gambled …ever, until I took a trip to Reno, Nevada with my mom to visit my aunt and uncle. They live in Reno, and part of their entertainment is to go to the local Peppermill Hotel Casino and gamble. This was about four years ago. I saved a little money to play and that was all I spent.

Then over the next few years I would visit Atlantic City on the way to my sister Nancy’s in Cape Cod, or stop off at Foxwood Resort Casino in Connecticut, once, for an hour to check it out.

Family Issues

Somewhere in the midst of these years my step-dad died of cancer and my father died suddenly. I helped the family out in both situations by helping plan the funerals and speaking at the services.

Over the next few years my mom had a broken leg, a blocked artery, gall bladder surgery, and a perforated hernia. As a relaxation activity from school and running up and down the road to Charleston, West Virginia, I walked into one of the little casinos here in Morgantown. It wasn’t hard; it was over on University Avenue as are many, many other little gambling spots.  Video poker machines started appearing up in 2000 and can now be found in 99 local establishments.

I started on the weekends after returning from my mom’s, and would just play for an hour and go home, always limiting the amount of money I spent to $20 to $40. Then I started stopping in during the spring of 2004 after school and on the weekends. I would drive around and visit some of the other places here in Morgantown and Westover, West Virginia.

The Big Fall

My big fall into the pit came with the onset of summer 2004. I started out by visiting some of the local places each day. I actually took a class that lasted a week in the middle of all of this, and at that point at least I would like to say that the gambling didn’t interfere with my school responsibilities. I kept it as an after school and weekend activity.

I started playing for fun, a chance to relax, and visit with new people who had similar interests. We discussed wins and losses, family, travel, our health. Everything! It was so much fun. But soon I was out of control.

I started going to the bowling alley everyday. I would have breakfast, get dressed and the excitement in my heart would begin. Would I win today? Could this be the day?

Even now as I think about it, I get excited. I am one of those folks who didn’t win much. I did win $300 one day and $900 on another day, but even though I filled out bank deposit slips, I returned to the gambling establishments and lost that money later on.

I went from gambling just $40 at a time to sometimes $300. I went through my savings, sold coins and jewelry, took out a small loan to pay off my credit cards and then gambled away that money, and then I began to use a pin number to take money out on my Discover Card. The company called me several times to find out if in fact I was taking the money out or had my card been stolen. I told the guy that it was me, and I proceeded to take out the limit on my card.

As the middle of August came, I realized that the only money I had left was the money I had put away in the credit union for the two summer months that I didn’t get paid. So I started using it.

Denying the Problem

All the while, I was denying to my friends and family that I had a problem. I would put a smile on my face and laugh it off. I took one more loan out and by the time the school year started I had 47¢ left in my pocket and 1 credit card that I had not touched.

Your mind goes numb. You don’t think about how much you have spent or you just try to ignore the mounting debt. It becomes a battle of wills. Ignoring what you know is happening to you, and at the same time rationalizing that it will be fine and that you are still in control.

During this summer of 2004 I still called my mom each night, as we had done for years. But sometimes I would be a little late or would run home from the bowling alley and then go back as soon as I finished my call. At the time this felt exciting — like being a child and getting away with something. I had only been talking to my sister Nancy about once a week, which was very unusual for me.

Hitting Bottom and Getting Help from Social Workers

But finally, I hit my my lowest point on August 30th.  My sister asked me if I was mad at her because I had not come to visit her. That was my night to tell. I spilled my guts and cried and cried. She encouraged me to get help. I gambled one more day and on the evening of September 2, 2004,  I called the Gamblers Hotline and talked to Steve who is a licensed social worker with a bachelor’s and master’s degree in social work.  For what seemed like two hours he calmed me down, gave me information and finally, after much cajoling, got me to accept an appointment with a counselor. That was the beginning of my recovery and the acceptance of my gambling addiction.

Friday evening, September 3rd, I met with my counselor, Jane (a licensed, clinical social worker with more than 20 years of experience counseling problem gamblers), for two hours. She asked questions and let me talk and cry, and then we began working on practice sheets that made me take a long hard look at my addiction.

We went through a series of questions that helped me identify the severity of my compulsive gambling, and let me see how through a series of life’s challenges, I had used the gambling as an escape. I met with Jane four days later and we continued to delve into my reasons for gambling and also discussed money management. For several months following we met each week, and as my confidence grew and I remained clean, I began to recover the joy in my life and the fog began to lift.

My sister Nancy and her fiancé Tim called me every night as they have continued to this day. They call themselves the SST (the Sandy Support Team). I will be forever grateful to them for their love and support.

As a way to replace my gambling I decided to go walking with my friend Sandy. I was not going to divulge my secret but on our first lap around the Coliseum I told her my story. What a friendship we have, and she kept my secret until I started to come out to my other friends.

Help from Gamblers Anonymous

There was one more very important part of my recovery and that was Gamblers Anonymous. Jane had encouraged me to go to meetings as another integral part of recovery, but I kept putting it off. I finally went to Stonewall Jackson Resort in Roanoke, West Virginia, where a counselors’ conference was being held and they happened to be having a Gamblers Anonymous meeting. I went with a fellow member and experienced my first meeting September 22, 2004.

An important guest speaker was Arnie Wexler and his wife Shelia. He discussed his path to recovery and the support his wife had made to his remaining clean. They are a wonderful older couple, from New York (I think), and they speak all over the United States. In January a very involved member of Gamblers Anonymous started a group here in Morgantown and I have participated in that group each week.

The power of Gamblers Anonymous is the support. We are all in the same boat, although circumstances and stories are all very different. The one thing we all have in common is an inability to control our gambling. As one of our members said, “Gambling is an inadequate or inappropriate response to a life situation.”

Together we acknowledge that we are powerless over gambling, but with the support of others and taking one day at a time, and sometimes one hour at a time, we are regaining our lives and finding better ways to cope with a very insidious addiction.

Clean for More Than a Year

I have now been clean for more a year. I have money in my saving account. I can shop, a little bit. Life is good, I am happy, I have found my joy once again.

The Hotline is invaluable. They provide a shoulder to cry on but more importantly advice on help. If you let them, they will set up a counselor, send a packet of information and advise you on the location of Gamblers Anonymous meetings.

I will always be grateful to the Hotline and the supportive staff that works there. I enjoyed the follow-up calls at six months and 1 year and I hope that I will be able to speak to them over the years.

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The National Council on Problem Gambling in Washington, DC estimates that two to three percent of our population, or 6 million to 9 million Americans, will suffer from a serious gambling problem in any given year. If you or someone you know needs help with a gambling problem, call the National Problem Gambling Help-line at 1-800-522-4700 or go to www.NCPGambling.org.
National Problem Gambling Awareness Week is March 6-12, 2006.  Hundreds of individuals, professionals, treatment providers, agencies, and gambling and gaming organizations join efforts to create more public awareness about this disorder through a wide variety of screenings, training and public events. For more information, go to please go to www.npgaw.org/021.htm.