Published by www.demodirt.com, June 30, 2008 -By Galia Myron

Most Americans are more open-minded about gay marriage and civil unions than they were four years ago, with the exception of Republicans and white evangelical Protestants, who are still as opposed to gay marriage as they were last election time. Overall, says the Pew Research Center survey, more people are accepting of same-sex civil unions than they are of gay marriage, with no decline in opposition among Republicans and white evangelicals. Moreover, Republicans and evangelicals state that the issue will be one which will weigh heavily for them at the polls.

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Ever since the 1970’s, divorce has become commonplace. In fact, the definition of family has changed dramatically. Less than fifty percent of families are intact families with the original mother and father. Families now include single heads of households—with women as the head of household, couples living together and step-families that become “blended” through divorce and re-marriage.

Included in the rising divorce rates are long-term marriages. Why, we ask, would someone get divorced after more than twenty years of marriage? Before we take a look at the top reasons for why some long-term marriages end in divorce, let’s first see why some long-term marriages succeed or just “go along to get along.” “Success” means that BOTH partners report being happy.

Good Reasons Why Some People Stay in Long-Term Marriages—What Makes These Good, Happy Marriages Work?

Good, happy marriages consist of people who:

1. Are both truly happy, optimistic people who know how to problem-solve.
2. Tended to get married when older and more settled in their careers/education and more mature.
3. Are financially comfortable.
4. Have college degrees or technical training.
5. Find ways to “renew” the marriage spark. Some couples do this by traveling, taking classes of some kind together, doing a large project together (building a dream house, etc.), volunteering together and basically finding a new shared interest etc.
6. Are happily involved with their grandchildren and/or adult children.
7. Have good health.
8. Don’t criticize and reject each other.
9. Respect and like each other.
10. Have more than “weathered or gotten through” major stresses such as affairs, financial or emotional problems. Instead, they triumph over these issues and grow.
11. Have a wildcard factor—a highly personalized reason for being happy and together!

Make a checklist of which ones are part of your marriage. Now let’s take a look at why some unhappy, long-term marriages continue.

Why Some Unhappy, Long-Term Marriages Continue

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