By Maren Dale
Divorce is far more than a legal event—it’s an upheaval that reshapes the lives of everyone involved. For children of divorcing parents, it can bring feelings of confusion, loss and even self-blame as their family dynamic shifts in ways they cannot control.
For social workers, the challenge is both immense and urgent: How do you help guide families through divorce while protecting children from becoming casualties of conflict?
Consider this as a starting point: Develop a fresh awareness of factors that are impacting divorce today and recognize that while some have remained unchanged over the years, others have shifted. Going one step further, it can serve social workers to look closely at themselves—and both know and accept that strategies that may have worked well in years past may no longer be as effective moving forward.
Divorce is Becoming More Contentious
Divorce rates have been declining since the 1980s, according to a study posted at the National Institutes of Health National Library of Medicine. On face value, that seems like a positive development. But there’s more behind the statistic. For example, rates may be lower because fewer people are marrying and those who do so are marrying at older ages, when they have more maturity and may be able to better manage conflicts that arise. Additionally, gender roles have expanded, which likely has had an impact.
Larry Fishel, PhD, LCSW, has been a practicing social worker for 47 years and co-owns Associated Mental Health Specialists in Towson, Md. He has worked with hundreds of divorcing parents and their children, and has noticed one particularly significant change over the years.
“Divorce is supposed to be about the kids. Unfortunately, it has become more about the parents being angry at each other,” he says. “Now more than then, parents ‘adultify’ their children—kids are more aware of divorce and legal issues surrounding it. Parents are more angry now and they want the child to identify with them.”
Read the full story in the NASW Social Work Advocates magazine
